The Moon at its full /06-27-10

the moon at its full after yesterday's downpour.

Something to look forward to each night outside my window. Something to remind me that, being the earth's only satellite, it is way sadder to be pinched forever in the sky, be adored from the distance, and be dependent on someone else's warmth.

at dusk

The silence that guards the tomb does not reveal God's
secret in the obscurity of the coffin, and the rustling of the branches whose
roots suck the body's elements do not tell the mysteries of the grave, by the
agonized sighs of my heart announce to the living the drama which love, beauty,
and death have performed.

Minsan ay tumapak ako sa Cebu, hindi ko na maalis ang paa ko.

I can feel them staring awkwardly bedazzled behind our backs as the 3 of us head straight to the main entrance of the departure area at Mactan airport, Cebu. More so, I know they are looking through to me as I have not bid farewell nor turn my back as i pushed open the glass door revealing the vast space of the airport's lobby occupied with people running their own errands. Funny how a space as big as this lobby get horrendously crowded when my fist-big heart is dreadfully empty this very minute. In my mind I know it will take years before i ever get to step my feet again in this place... this same place where any moment now will dust off the last footsteps I marked on its ground... this same place where less than a minute now will just be like my own home, always will I seek the joy and comfort of.

"May chicken bone sa throat ko" , this was my alibi at the end part of a retreat I attended with my classmates wayback 6th grade. Exactly how i feel today. May chicken bone sa throat ko and I'm certain it'll burst in my tear gland before we even reach Manila. So there, what happened next is just between me, ate Katz, kuya Patrick and the free coffee being served at PAL. Well, there are onlookers, god bless their souls. Hahahaha!

We cry for 2 reasons: either we are terribly sad or extremely happy. Mine's bothways. Extremely happy, kasi i know i have a family there when i return (hopefully next year? ). Terribly sad, kasi I will miss the homy ambiance of everyone's presence... like I've been with them all my life and to be departed is such a torture.

Guess what, the torture's still on.
Ibalik nyo ako sa Cebu!!!






Cebu, May 17-23, 2010

I remember you as you were in the last autumn.

Lapu-lapu Shrine, May 2010

involuntary servitude

Let me not speak for my heart, for I will only speak the words that might lead me to my death bed.


Let me not write my thoughts, for my hand solely scribble the struggle of the lost kid in me.. thus revealing the battered side this soul with great effort had tried to omit in the naked eyes.


Let me not move, for every motion this tender body make relives the long time dead passion of the used to be "other piece".


Shut my mouth, It can only speak of him.

Cloud my mind, It can only think of him.

Freeze my body, It lives for him.



been a prisoner for a long time already, badly needed a parole.