Hello goodbye!

I do not know if  I am going to cry.. but I know that if anybody speak to me or look at me too closely, the tears would fly out of my eyes and the sobs would fly out of the throat and I'll cry for a week.

So here I rest my heart completely untouched.

       ( not me. But I can relate so much. )

I woke up into a nightmare

I didn't want to wake up.

I was having a much better time asleep.

And that's really sad.

It was almost like a reverse nightmare,

like when you wake up from a nightmare you're so relieved.

I woke up into a nightmare.

Someone is fighting a hard battle. Be kind :)

“Have you ever been in love?

Horrible isn't it?

It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.

I hate love."

♥♥♥

My depressing early morning sickness

For more than a year now, i daintily deposit my whole being to the addictive remorse my fate had brought right under my nose. Somewhat depressing that it became a morning habit. Same questions have been ringing listlessly afloat in my head, same feeling like the moment i thought of them first.

Had they found no answers yet?

Papano nga ba?

HOW DO YOU HEAL A BROKEN HEART?

“I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it.”

( 2007 folly days )

“I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it.”

-Seth, City of Angels

Reiterated twice or more than with much less honesty.

Tama ka nga, People always lie.. and you happened to be one.

my pieces,
-qai

The natural force of attraction.

GRAVITY - the natural force of attraction exerted by a celestial body upon objects at or near its surface, tending to draw them toward the center of the body.

"As the storm still seeks its end in peace
when it strikes against peace with all its might,
even thus my rebellion strikes against thy love
and still its cry is
---`I want thee, only thee'.

The gravity keeps pulling me back to this turmoil. :(

I got 7 Friend requests to ignore. :(

Sorry that I have to ignore the requests.

I appreciate the friendship more than you guys could ever imagine.

Not that I've changed.

Just that.. I cut.. and cut clean.

Depression is not something you can just snap out of.

Depression is not something you can just snap out of.

COUNT ON ME? Yeah right.

Alot different when i heard it years back. Now its like.. yeah right, whatever.

I don't wanna sound bitter of the amity I'm about to lose here. Not even sure if i already lost it somewhere my thoughtless journey or just I don't really had one.

" Nothing takes the taste off a peanut butter quite like unrequited love. "

I miss my Sun

" You are sunlight and I moon
Joined by the gods of fortune
Midnight and high noon
Sharing the sky
We have been blessed, you and I .. "

First time to step on historic paves of Intramuros. It took me 4 years to appreciate Manila, haha!

The moon missed her sun a lot. They were never together you know.
Hay.
Depression.

twelve eleven -Oh!- seven

” I don’t just like you. I love how the oasis sprouts amidst this desert in harmony with your giggles and laughters. Yeah, maybe I love you and until I have figure out the depths of it yet, will you be mine? “

Aw. Sometimes I despise how the forebrain do some playbacks.

:(

jUsT mE aNd mY sILLy tHouGhTs

If the mind forgets, does the heart forget too? Or will the soul remember everything and plant each scene in the heart along with the feelings that ceased to exist when the memory cells die down?

If the soul forgets and the mind deteriorates, will the heart keep all the memories unshattered or flash scenes like the blue sky’s reflection against the cascading waters?

If the heart forgets and the soul is trapped into nothingness, can the mind still define the coexistence of eros and psyche? or are these two destined to exist to be extinct?

How will you keep the fire burning when Zypherus blows its cold sweet kisses amidst the heat of the midday sun?

How does it feel to be totally forgotten and yet be the one who remembers everything? …

-mynameiskaren-

! am, sCh!z◘-

I waited…….

yet,

you never came.

hguonEmAI

I have run out of things to blather on lately. I don’t know but I’ve been battling with this squeamish icky feeling I park myself on each time my oh-so-beautiful-mind squeezes juicy thoughts yet I bulge in distress trying to make lemonade out of it. A sluggish yet severe silence that is neither good nor bad, just there. I could feel the urge to thump on the q w e r t y and the a s d f g the moment I come in close contact with the board, but heck I could not write a thing!

Piling up all hassles and bustles inside my brain, I am technically half dead! I’ve stopped watching the shows in Disney channel. I’ve not keeping up much on emails, blogs, forums and anything in line with those. Been kind of absent, been kinda sick. But maybe these things aren’t vital to define LIFE and LIVING.

It isn’t an imperative to keep up with the digital slingers all the time. I mean they are just chewing gums that our tongue and teeth masticate to pass away boredom and then spew out after wringing its flavour. Maybe at one point we need to be just with our own selves and hibernate there at the very core. Maybe this very breath that I unenervately grasp every now and then is a life that I squander in giving, loving and vice versa. I love it. It gives me the feeling that I am living, for real. Maybe that is enough. Maybe I am enough.

Sweet.

** Sabi nmn ng utak ko sa kbilang side.. CHEESY!!!

Remember?

In here

At this moment

Twilight meets twilight

Yet still,

At this very moment

The hours are on flight.

Come freshly brewed summertime

Same bench, same window

First twilight, first dewdrops

I shall seek your voice between the books and the shelf

I will forget I even count between ten and twelve.

I Know Him So Well

“Nothing is so good it lasts eternally
Perfect situations must go wrong
But this has never yet prevented me
From wanting far too much for far too long
Looking back, I could have done it differently
Won a few more moments, who can tell?
But it took time to understand the man
Now at least I know, I know him well”

They say that in this world, nothing is permanent except change. People change. Feelings change. More often than not, it catches us off guard, creating hacked wounds in heart, leaving us half dead. Still, in our brokenness we try to always patch the wounds. However deep, however painful. We would skillfully go over the bits and pieces to find where love has gone wrong. Revive the passion that was there before change allured.

“Wasn’t it good, Wasn’t it fine
Isn’t it madness he can’t be mine
But in the end, he needs a little more than before
Security, he needs his fantasy and freedom
I know him so well”

We refer to it as madness, but no. It is more of self-denial. The harder the struggles are the tighter the commitment is, another misconception which confuses us. Though the truth slaps us straight in our faces already we still choose to hold on like a barnacle to the rock. Love is a free flowing water. No abruptions or else it will burst elsewhere creating havoc. In English grammar, Love is an abstract noun. Something that has intangible concept. That’s why it is awfully wrong to own it as if it is a prize possession. Let it flow. Let it fly. Keep in mind that a father never land on close fists.

“No one in your life is with you constantly
No one is completely on your side
And though I move my world to be with him
Still the gap between us is too wide
Looking back, I could have played it differentlyLearned about the man before I fell
But I was ever so much younger then”

Well. Need I say more? I move my world to be with him still the gap between us is too wide.

I call it reality.

And reality sucks.

“Wasn’t it good (oh so good), Wasn’t it fine (so fine)
Isn’t it madness he can’t be mine

Didn’t I know how it would go
If I knew from the start
Why am I falling apart”

It took some to understand him
Yet..

I know him so well.