I Know Him So Well

“Nothing is so good it lasts eternally
Perfect situations must go wrong
But this has never yet prevented me
From wanting far too much for far too long
Looking back, I could have done it differently
Won a few more moments, who can tell?
But it took time to understand the man
Now at least I know, I know him well”

They say that in this world, nothing is permanent except change. People change. Feelings change. More often than not, it catches us off guard, creating hacked wounds in heart, leaving us half dead. Still, in our brokenness we try to always patch the wounds. However deep, however painful. We would skillfully go over the bits and pieces to find where love has gone wrong. Revive the passion that was there before change allured.

“Wasn’t it good, Wasn’t it fine
Isn’t it madness he can’t be mine
But in the end, he needs a little more than before
Security, he needs his fantasy and freedom
I know him so well”

We refer to it as madness, but no. It is more of self-denial. The harder the struggles are the tighter the commitment is, another misconception which confuses us. Though the truth slaps us straight in our faces already we still choose to hold on like a barnacle to the rock. Love is a free flowing water. No abruptions or else it will burst elsewhere creating havoc. In English grammar, Love is an abstract noun. Something that has intangible concept. That’s why it is awfully wrong to own it as if it is a prize possession. Let it flow. Let it fly. Keep in mind that a father never land on close fists.

“No one in your life is with you constantly
No one is completely on your side
And though I move my world to be with him
Still the gap between us is too wide
Looking back, I could have played it differentlyLearned about the man before I fell
But I was ever so much younger then”

Well. Need I say more? I move my world to be with him still the gap between us is too wide.

I call it reality.

And reality sucks.

“Wasn’t it good (oh so good), Wasn’t it fine (so fine)
Isn’t it madness he can’t be mine

Didn’t I know how it would go
If I knew from the start
Why am I falling apart”

It took some to understand him
Yet..

I know him so well.