"all my bags are packed I'm ready to go.. I'm standing here outside your door.. already I'm so lonesome I could DIE. :( "
There is a fleck of sweetness in knowing that somebody will DIE if you're not around. :D
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Heading to?
"all my bags are packed I'm ready to go.. I'm standing here outside your door.. already I'm so lonesome I could DIE. :( "
There is a fleck of sweetness in knowing that somebody will DIE if you're not around. :D
Monday, March 29, 2010
Near death at C5
As the car u-turned along C5 i could hear the distant horns of that fast approaching road monster heading towards the struggling engine of the car i was in. The hustle and bustle of C5's busy road was hushed into a deep slumber as my deafening squeals took over added to the earsplitting pounds in my chest. Both engine bewailed from the enormous thrust of the brakes and shook almost thawed out the tendons of my skeletal structure. Another roaring horn and all was over.
Whoever said that death is peaceful was lying when crossing the thin line between life and after was more like stuck amidst the pandemonium of crowds in Metallica's Concert. It wasn't a flight to the moon and back for one to really assert such avowal and I will not dare to cross the line just yet.
" The Lord has BIG plan for us that He had to break us little hurts to make it come true. "
The first breath i had when the tension from the outside of the car subsided, was the sweetest. It felt like I was revived being brain dead from the last 10 minutes clamor in the road. No wounds, no scratch yet almost died. I was still consumed with emotional strain from the incident when the chitchat i had in the morning with a friend came to my mind. " YOU DON'T DIE OF A BROKEN HEART, YOU ONLY WISH YOU WOULD. "
Careful what you wish for.
Whoever said that death is peaceful was lying when crossing the thin line between life and after was more like stuck amidst the pandemonium of crowds in Metallica's Concert. It wasn't a flight to the moon and back for one to really assert such avowal and I will not dare to cross the line just yet.
" The Lord has BIG plan for us that He had to break us little hurts to make it come true. "
The first breath i had when the tension from the outside of the car subsided, was the sweetest. It felt like I was revived being brain dead from the last 10 minutes clamor in the road. No wounds, no scratch yet almost died. I was still consumed with emotional strain from the incident when the chitchat i had in the morning with a friend came to my mind. " YOU DON'T DIE OF A BROKEN HEART, YOU ONLY WISH YOU WOULD. "
Careful what you wish for.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Help me out, Lord. :(
God wants me to be here and I am more than glad to be where my God wants me to be.
I just wish things will end a bit faster.
:(
Help me out, Lord.
I just wish things will end a bit faster.
:(
Help me out, Lord.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
This is just a dream :(
This is just a dream..
All i have to do is pinch myself..
and i'll wake up.
* pinch *pinch *pinch!
im not dreaming. :( :( :(
All i have to do is pinch myself..
and i'll wake up.
* pinch *pinch *pinch!
im not dreaming. :( :( :(
Friday, March 26, 2010
The natural force of attraction.
GRAVITY - the natural force of attraction exerted by a celestial body upon objects at or near its surface, tending to draw them toward the center of the body."As the storm still seeks its end in peace
when it strikes against peace with all its might,
even thus my rebellion strikes against thy love
and still its cry is
---`I want thee, only thee'.
when it strikes against peace with all its might,
even thus my rebellion strikes against thy love
and still its cry is
---`I want thee, only thee'.
The gravity keeps pulling me back to this turmoil. :(
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Sunglasses -the deep brown one.
Sunglasses has always been an additional bling to my homogeneous week-long fashion sense or uniform as what the company calls it. It does not only shield my specialized light-sensitive sensory structure from the harmful UV rays but also conceal the malady these two balls divulge when exposed.
Friday - another ordinary sunglasses day for me since summer is at its peak and el niño is making the season way steamy than the usual. So catching a dose of Vitamin D everyday is no sweat. Hello sunshine is the upbeat sound of my heart when halfway my typical route, i spot dark clouds brewing storm far north. Great. Sundance Sarah G. or Lloydie, please?
Thank you God for reminding me that I live in the tropics where the weather can get as surprising as the out of nowhere abrupt appearances of my boss. Teehee.
Droplets now starting to splatter along the avenue as the rays fight the dark clouds clogging their path. I look at each splatter through the deep brown sunglasses hanging below my brows. I watch skillfully like an artist trying to decipher the magic of nature's touch as droplets bathe the earth. Another storm brewing in.. right here inside my cage.
No, i won't remove my glasses.. not this time amidst this downpour. There is so much more to conceal now. So much.
Friday - another ordinary sunglasses day for me since summer is at its peak and el niño is making the season way steamy than the usual. So catching a dose of Vitamin D everyday is no sweat. Hello sunshine is the upbeat sound of my heart when halfway my typical route, i spot dark clouds brewing storm far north. Great. Sundance Sarah G. or Lloydie, please?
Thank you God for reminding me that I live in the tropics where the weather can get as surprising as the out of nowhere abrupt appearances of my boss. Teehee.
Droplets now starting to splatter along the avenue as the rays fight the dark clouds clogging their path. I look at each splatter through the deep brown sunglasses hanging below my brows. I watch skillfully like an artist trying to decipher the magic of nature's touch as droplets bathe the earth. Another storm brewing in.. right here inside my cage.
No, i won't remove my glasses.. not this time amidst this downpour. There is so much more to conceal now. So much.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
In my solitude
I know now how it feels to be out here..
perforate on the shallow layer of the earth..
adore in distant glances of the passerby..
watch the constant motion of the sky..
and die in vain waiting..
Friday, March 19, 2010
Deleted :(
A very dear friend deleted me in his facebook and probably in his life too.
How it felt?.. uhm.. para akong orphan, desperately trying to win her father back. :(
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
Status : Superman is off to saving qaiqai
Superman: "You wrote that the world doesn't need a savior, but everyday i hear people crying for one."
Up! up! and away! ( off to saving qaiqai ) << in case you wonder where superman is. :))
Up! up! and away! ( off to saving qaiqai ) << in case you wonder where superman is. :))Sunday, March 14, 2010
Kung Ako Na Lang Sana - Bituin Escalante
I watched this late night show where Bituin Escalante was a guest singer and apparently she sang just before the show started.
The song stirred something in me. Something I nursed for over a long period of time. Something I barely recalled these days and if I did, the recollection echoed like a voice in the wilderness vaguely murmured what was spoken of.
One thing I grasped being whisked off from my core was that, the happiness we get out of loving is dependent whether which it is reciprocated. If not, I call it rather a one way street sort of loving. One which I had even with him just within my reach.
What hurts the most back then was the sad fact that he needed someone else, not me. That however I tried to fit myself for his needs, it never filled his lacking. That whatever I wore, someone always got his head turned. That whoever I was with, never it bothered him I will be snatched out of his side. That whichever place he park, I will be right up popping in an instant.
It was another usual case of unrequited love. Whether it was me who didn't show much of what I really felt towards him back then, or him who was too much of a shy to spill out what he really meant with "u have a special place in my heart, Karen" , it doesn't matter now and probably won't matter anymore.
Just sometimes when the song floated in the air, He never failed to cross my mind and how he sobbed in that corner from the moment I sang the first verse down to the last words...
" Heto ka na naman
Kumakatok sa aking pintuan,
Muling naghahanap ng makakausap..
At heto naman ako
Nakikinig sa mga kwento mong paulit-ulit lang..
Nagtitiis kahit nasasaktan. "
Kumakatok sa aking pintuan,
Muling naghahanap ng makakausap..
At heto naman ako
Nakikinig sa mga kwento mong paulit-ulit lang..
Nagtitiis kahit nasasaktan. "
The song stirred something in me. Something I nursed for over a long period of time. Something I barely recalled these days and if I did, the recollection echoed like a voice in the wilderness vaguely murmured what was spoken of.
"Heto pa rin ako umaasang ang puso mo
Baka sakali pang ito'y magbago
Narito lang ako
Kasama mo buong buhay mo
Ang kulang na lang
Mahalin mo rin akong lubusan "
Baka sakali pang ito'y magbago
Narito lang ako
Kasama mo buong buhay mo
Ang kulang na lang
Mahalin mo rin akong lubusan "
One thing I grasped being whisked off from my core was that, the happiness we get out of loving is dependent whether which it is reciprocated. If not, I call it rather a one way street sort of loving. One which I had even with him just within my reach.
" Kung ako na Lang sana ang 'yong minahal
Di ka na muling mag iisa,
Kung ako na Lang Sana ang 'yong minahal
Di ka na muling luluha pa.
Di ka na mangangailangan pang humanap ng iba.
Narito ang puso ko naghihintay lamang sayo.. "
Di ka na muling mag iisa,
Kung ako na Lang Sana ang 'yong minahal
Di ka na muling luluha pa.
Di ka na mangangailangan pang humanap ng iba.
Narito ang puso ko naghihintay lamang sayo.. "
What hurts the most back then was the sad fact that he needed someone else, not me. That however I tried to fit myself for his needs, it never filled his lacking. That whatever I wore, someone always got his head turned. That whoever I was with, never it bothered him I will be snatched out of his side. That whichever place he park, I will be right up popping in an instant.
It was another usual case of unrequited love. Whether it was me who didn't show much of what I really felt towards him back then, or him who was too much of a shy to spill out what he really meant with "u have a special place in my heart, Karen" , it doesn't matter now and probably won't matter anymore.
Just sometimes when the song floated in the air, He never failed to cross my mind and how he sobbed in that corner from the moment I sang the first verse down to the last words...
" Kung ako na Lang sana.. "
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Her future is definitely " webby". :))
thump on it, Bangs!Bigla kami demoted. Hahaha!
Aylab Bangs!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
DON'T GO FAR OFF, NOT EVEN FOR A DAY
Don't go far off, not even for a day, because --
because -- I don't know how to say it: a day is long
and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station
when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.
Don't leave me, even for an hour, because
then the little drops of anguish will all run together,
the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift
into me, choking my lost heart.
Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach;
may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance.
Don't leave me for a second, my dearest,
because in that moment you'll have gone so far
I'll wander mazily over all the earth, asking,
Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?
I CRAVE YOUR MOUTH, YOUR VOICE, YOUR HAIR
-P.N.-
because -- I don't know how to say it: a day is long
and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station
when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.
Don't leave me, even for an hour, because
then the little drops of anguish will all run together,
the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift
into me, choking my lost heart.
Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach;
may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance.
Don't leave me for a second, my dearest,
because in that moment you'll have gone so far
I'll wander mazily over all the earth, asking,
Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?
I CRAVE YOUR MOUTH, YOUR VOICE, YOUR HAIR
-P.N.-
Listahan ng bibilhin
My ate asked me to buy some stuff and she had to write them down for me to remember. It felt like I were a kid just about to experience my first market hopping. Haha!
Kinda offending don't you think? 25 years old na po ako. Malamang ay kayang kaya ko na matandaan lahat yan. Waaaaa!
But still, excited!
Kinda offending don't you think? 25 years old na po ako. Malamang ay kayang kaya ko na matandaan lahat yan. Waaaaa!
But still, excited!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
I got 7 Friend requests to ignore. :(
Sorry that I have to ignore the requests. 
I appreciate the friendship more than you guys could ever imagine.
Not that I've changed.
Just that.. I cut.. and cut clean.
Female area
Ever wonder why women has the most "spatial privileged" ?
Because women need "SPACE" more than men who always ask for it. 
Because women need "SPACE" more than men who always ask for it.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Si Tu Me Olvidas ♥ If You Forget Me
"Si Tu Me Olvidas"
By Pablo Neruda
"If You Forget Me"
una cosa.
I want you to know
one thing.
one thing.
Tú sabes cómo es esto:
si miro
la luna de cristal, la rama roja
del lento otoño en mi ventana,
si toco
junto al fuego
la impalpable ceniza
o el arrugado cuerpo de la leña,
todo me lleva a ti,
como si todo lo que existe:
aromas, luz, metales,
fueran pequeños barcos que navegan
hacia las islas tuyas que me aguardan.
si miro
la luna de cristal, la rama roja
del lento otoño en mi ventana,
si toco
junto al fuego
la impalpable ceniza
o el arrugado cuerpo de la leña,
todo me lleva a ti,
como si todo lo que existe:
aromas, luz, metales,
fueran pequeños barcos que navegan
hacia las islas tuyas que me aguardan.
You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists:
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists:
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.
Ahora bien,
si poco a poco dejas de quererme
dejaré de quererte poco a poco.
si poco a poco dejas de quererme
dejaré de quererte poco a poco.
Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.
Si de pronto
me olvidas
no me busques,
que ya te habré olvidado.
me olvidas
no me busques,
que ya te habré olvidado.
If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.
Si consideras largo y loco
el viento de banderas
que pasa por mi vida
y te decides
a dejarme a la orilla
del corazón en que tengo raíces,
piensa
que en esa día,
a esa hora
levantaré los brazos
y saldrán mis raíces
a buscar otra tierra.
el viento de banderas
que pasa por mi vida
y te decides
a dejarme a la orilla
del corazón en que tengo raíces,
piensa
que en esa día,
a esa hora
levantaré los brazos
y saldrán mis raíces
a buscar otra tierra.
If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.
Pero
si cada día,
cada hora,
sientes que a mí estás destinada
con dulzura implacable,
si cada día sube
una flor a tus labios a buscarme,
ay amor mío, ay mía,
en mí todo ese fuego se repite,
en mí nada se apaga ni se olvida,
mi amor se nutre de tu amor, amada,
y mientras vivas estará en tus brazos
sin salir de los míos.
si cada día,
cada hora,
sientes que a mí estás destinada
con dulzura implacable,
si cada día sube
una flor a tus labios a buscarme,
ay amor mío, ay mía,
en mí todo ese fuego se repite,
en mí nada se apaga ni se olvida,
mi amor se nutre de tu amor, amada,
y mientras vivas estará en tus brazos
sin salir de los míos.
But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Ni-doodle ko si ate katz at ako'y nasiyahan. >:)
*lappy switched on ...
*flasher plugged... ( open folders to view file.. 3 folders.. PICTURES\MUSIC\BLOGS\
*clicked on PICTURES ( big mistake! )
“Oh syet. There’s a lot to delete in here” sounded more like I was trying to persuade a part of me to do so. I hopped from pictures to pictures unaware of the curve slowly forming in my lips. That curve then turned into chuckles then laughters as I paced to all the folders in each event that I had captured in vibrant colors. I remembered each too well that my heart swelled as each picture pulled me back to some specific scenes.
Images formed in my head.
I did see myself crossing that footbridge all smiled towards someone standing opposite the road. I did see the three of us asking the waiter to snap the camera at us doing wacky pose. We even took the hot sauce bottle out of our tipsiness and forgot about the whole thing until it leaked inside your bag and messed your things. We had a hella good laugh right there.
I browsed oodles of panorama in my peripheral while my consciousness trailed off in search for the comfort of a home I found in a friend. I missed her more despite the fact that she will be here come May 12, 2010, 8:30am ( O diba, detailed.haha) Nakakamiss ang mga pamatay nyang linya; “ Alam mo qai.. blah blah blah.. “ Hay naku, kung alam mo lang.. blah blah blah.. “ Alam mo ba si ano.. blah blah blah… “ Pumunta ka dito, hindi pedeng hindi..blah blah blah.. “ ADIK KA! “.. and many more. Sigh.
* Clicked close. Sigh again.
“ Buti na lang segregated yung mga pictures sa folders ko, hindi ko nasilip yung mga HINDI PA dapat silipin. “ )
“ Buti na lang pede ka mamili kung ano yung dapat mo lang buksan.” )
“ Buti na lang may same amount ang good sa bitter memories from the folders of my life.”
“ Buti na lang may recycle bin, pede ko itapon yung mga hindi ko na kelangan.”
“ Buti na lang may mga totoong Kaibigan who will pull you out from rejection…
** doodled.. doodled.. doodled.
… and will forgive you for the distorted doodling result.
Peace yah te katz! Hihi. LabyaH!Friday, March 5, 2010
Depression is not something you can just snap out of.
Depression is not something you can just snap out of.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
EXTREMES
I had a blast of recklessness last year.
*quitting my job
*getting myself into work related connivance ( so not me )
*hurting my former superiors BIG TIME! :(
*moving to another house ( again for the 4th time )
*applying for credit card and squander the credit balance until its very limit :(( ( which am still paying till now, huhu )
*and other things i don't want to mention anymore, haha!
" Extremes, though contrary, have the like effects. Extreme heat kills, and so extreme cold: extreme love breeds satiety, and so extreme hatred; and too violent rigor tempts chastity, as does too much license. "
I was the contrary of what i portrayed a year ago. I was on the extremely safe zone wherein the only thing that could put me in total danger is trip inside the CR and hit my head. It was then a vague thrill of excitement each time a surge of adrenaline rush through my veins. I let it pass though. I let all the thrill pass and die a natural death inside me. " Be in the safe zone, karen" said my danger-alarming cells.
How stupid was I to think that it was indeed the safe zone. That nothing could go wrong within the vicinity of that corner. That even death could not pass through and devour the whole of me. I was there inside its comfort yet i died.. many times.
I burned it down, the safe zone..
.. and went my own reckless ways. Haha!
If things don't work the safest way, try the hasty one.
*quitting my job
*getting myself into work related connivance ( so not me )
*hurting my former superiors BIG TIME! :(
*moving to another house ( again for the 4th time )
*applying for credit card and squander the credit balance until its very limit :(( ( which am still paying till now, huhu )
*and other things i don't want to mention anymore, haha!
" Extremes, though contrary, have the like effects. Extreme heat kills, and so extreme cold: extreme love breeds satiety, and so extreme hatred; and too violent rigor tempts chastity, as does too much license. "
I was the contrary of what i portrayed a year ago. I was on the extremely safe zone wherein the only thing that could put me in total danger is trip inside the CR and hit my head. It was then a vague thrill of excitement each time a surge of adrenaline rush through my veins. I let it pass though. I let all the thrill pass and die a natural death inside me. " Be in the safe zone, karen" said my danger-alarming cells.
How stupid was I to think that it was indeed the safe zone. That nothing could go wrong within the vicinity of that corner. That even death could not pass through and devour the whole of me. I was there inside its comfort yet i died.. many times.
I burned it down, the safe zone..
.. and went my own reckless ways. Haha!
If things don't work the safest way, try the hasty one.
Friendship vs Love
Repost from Jep Ce
Friendship vs Love
by: Nathan Stutte
Friendship is a quiet walk in the park with the one you trust
Love is when you feel like you are the only two around
Friendship is when they gaze into your eyes and you know they care
Love is when they gaze into your eyes and it warms your heart
Friendship is being close even when you are far apart
Love is when you can still feel their hand on your heart when they are not near
Friendship is hoping that they experience the very best
Love is when you bring them the very best
Friendship occupies your mind
Love occupies your soul
Friendship is knowing that you will always try to be there when in need
Love is when you will give up everything to be at their side
Friendship is a warm smile in the winter
Love is a warming touch that sends a pulse through your heart
Love is a beautiful smile to which nothing compares
A tender laugh, which opens your heart
A single touch that melts away your fears
A smell that reminds you of the tenderness of heaven
A voice that reminds you of the innocence of youth
Friendship can survive without love
Love cannot live without friendship
****
I felt the need to re-post.
Maybe because I was caught between those two extremes?
Friendship vs Love
by: Nathan Stutte
Friendship is a quiet walk in the park with the one you trust
Love is when you feel like you are the only two around
Friendship is when they gaze into your eyes and you know they care
Love is when they gaze into your eyes and it warms your heart
Friendship is being close even when you are far apart
Love is when you can still feel their hand on your heart when they are not near
Friendship is hoping that they experience the very best
Love is when you bring them the very best
Friendship occupies your mind
Love occupies your soul
Friendship is knowing that you will always try to be there when in need
Love is when you will give up everything to be at their side
Friendship is a warm smile in the winter
Love is a warming touch that sends a pulse through your heart
Love is a beautiful smile to which nothing compares
A tender laugh, which opens your heart
A single touch that melts away your fears
A smell that reminds you of the tenderness of heaven
A voice that reminds you of the innocence of youth
Friendship can survive without love
Love cannot live without friendship
****
I felt the need to re-post.
Maybe because I was caught between those two extremes?
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
COUNT ON ME? Yeah right.
Alot different when i heard it years back. Now its like.. yeah right, whatever.
I don't wanna sound bitter of the amity I'm about to lose here. Not even sure if i already lost it somewhere my thoughtless journey or just I don't really had one.
" Nothing takes the taste off a peanut butter quite like unrequited love. "
I miss my Sun
" You are sunlight and I moon
Joined by the gods of fortune
Midnight and high noon
Sharing the sky
We have been blessed, you and I .. "
Joined by the gods of fortune
Midnight and high noon
Sharing the sky
We have been blessed, you and I .. "
First time to step on historic paves of Intramuros. It took me 4 years to appreciate Manila, haha!
The moon missed her sun a lot. They were never together you know.
Hay.
Depression.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Starbucks Coffee
I wish LIFE could be as simple as having a starbucks coffee.
sbux: Anything wrong with your coffee(LIFE), ma'am?
QQ: This coffee(LIFE) sucks, please fix it.
sbux: Our apology ma'am, let me get you one perfect coffee(LIFE) this time.
Syet.
My life sucks bigtime.
sbux: Anything wrong with your coffee(LIFE), ma'am?
QQ: This coffee(LIFE) sucks, please fix it.
sbux: Our apology ma'am, let me get you one perfect coffee(LIFE) this time.
Syet.
My life sucks bigtime.
